I attract weirdos in the supermarket.
It happens to me all the time.
People talk to me in check out lines.
Approach me in the isles.
Today for instance, I was out buying a few necessaries when I stopped at the cat food.
There was a special on, 10 cans (of the food Mr Fussypants will actually eat) for $10, so I was quite excited.
As I browsed the selections available (because Mr Fussypants will only eat a small selection of the varieties available even in his chosen brand) a woman approached me.
As I glanced up and determined she was 1.A complete stranger and 2.Completely strange.
I braced myself for whatever pearls of wisdom might come tumbling from her lips.
Her: ‘you know they put pets in that!’
Me: ‘Um it is cat food…’
Her: ‘No, they really put pets in that, flea collars and all, grind them up and you feed them to your cat’
Now frankly, I am thinking ‘I don’t care what is in it lady, so long as my bloody cat will lower himself to eat it, I don’t need to know.’
Of course I just nod and mumble ‘how awful’ while shoveling more cans into my trolley.
She waxes lyrical for a few minutes longer on the evils of pet food companies, peoples dead pets being ground into pulp and then finishes up with ‘Well that is probably only in America anyhow, it could be different here’ and wanders off.
I’ll admit, for the rest of my shopping trip, to pushing my trolley around the isles, wondering, If it were true then where the pet food companies might be getting pets from?
Is there a black market in squished felines?
Is it confined only to pets or will any old road kill do?
Do they rob pet cemeteries? Do they advertise?
Why does all the weird shit happen in America?
Maybe they see in me a kindred spirit, a lonely soul with various conspiracy delusions yet to be voiced.
I don’t know, but they certainly make shopping that little bit more interesting.