I have a grandmother, who I am, more or less, responsible for. She is just shy of 100 years old so she’s seen a lot, done a lot and has pretty much a strong opinion on everything under the sun. I ring her 3 times and visit once a week. I love my grandmother and have the utmost respect for her.
That said, sometimes she just kills me with some of the things she says. Sometimes she reads things in the newspaper that she doesn’t understand, sometimes things make sense but she gets confused and asks me to make sense of it all. Sometimes I have to bite my tongue.
My grandmother is very proper, she doesn’t (as a rule) swear, as I say she has strong opinions on everything, including other people’s behaviour. Don’t get me wrong, she wouldn’t hurt a fly but her tongue can be sharp at times when she disapproves of something said or done.
Last week I visited her. She was reading an article on a politician who was involved in something of a sex scandal (big no-no!), she had put it aside as she didn’t understand some of the terminology and wanted me to help her with it.
Picture this, if you can…
I am sitting at her dining room table, calmly discussing the news and sipping a cup of strong tea (the only kind she makes). My grandmother picks up the news article and asks me with a wave of her hand ‘what has he been up to now? Do you know what dry humping is?’
I snort a good portion of my tea up my left nostril and struggle to maintain my dignity while I choke on the laughter bubbling up in my throat. My eyes tear up and I frantically dig in my purse for a tissue while covering a burble of laughter with a coughing fit. I finally manage to resume some semblance of normality, enough at least to deny having ever heard the term in a fairly steady voice. I am not sure if she believed me but we left it there, thanks be to whatever higher power decided to distract her in that moment.
Not too many of our conversations end this way, she is surprisingly hard to distract and reroute when she gets her mind set on something but in this case I was just lucky. How the hell do you explain ‘dry humping’ to your very proper grandmother without getting yourself ejected from the premises?
Let’s hope for news of a more steady, moral stance next week!
Balsamic Chicken & Onions
4 boneless, skinless chicken thighs chopped
1/4 cup balsamic vinegar
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 tsp dried basil
salt and pepper to taste
1 tablespoon oil, olive
500g red onions, halved lengthwise and thinly sliced
1/4 cup dry white wine, or reduced-sodium chicken broth (I used the wine and a little stock powder for depth)
1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon black pepper
In a plastic resealable food storage bag, place the chicken pieces.
In a small bowl, combine the 1/4 cup balsamic vinegar through the salt & pepper to taste.
Pour over the chicken pieces and marinate for 30 minutes.
Discard marinade and cook chicken over medium-low heat in nonstick skillet with a bit of olive oil until almost done.
Add red onions; cover and cook for 13 to 15 minutes or until onions are tender,
stirring occasionally. Uncover; cook and stir over medium-high heat for 3 to 5 minutes more
or until golden. Carefully add wine or broth and balsamic vinegar.
Cook and stir over medium heat until the liquid has evaporated. Stir in salt and pepper.
Serve over rice.