So I watch a lot of crime shows, not the series, the real life ones, I like them, goodness knows why. The point being that, inevitably, if you watch these shows long enough you will see a few that involve people with mental illness issues that stop taking their medication and get themselves into situations that may not have arisen otherwise. I have always wondered why? Why? When life is so difficult to cope with without the medication, why would you stop taking them? Particularly when most of these people are not just burdened with depression, some of them have more serious mental issues like Bipolar disorder or Schizophrenia. Well, lately I have determined an answer to this question. Side effects, my tablets have had an effect on me that can be a little irritating and hard to deal with at times.
They make me a procrastinator; in fact they make me as scatty as a cat in a sack full of feathers. I am a naturally lazy person who doesn’t like to do much more than I really have too to get by but on these tablets, anything that isn’t a computer game seems to be just a bit too much effort to bother with. My writing, yes I know I haven’t posted in an age, is just too bothersome. I haven’t baked anything in ages either and have no real interest in doing so. Pictures of things I have cooked are languishing on my phone and mocking me every time I pick it up to make a call. Don’t get me started on the battle to avoid YouTube and actually do some work during the day. Focussing on things is a lot more diffic – Oooo look something shiny!
All this sounds terrible but I actually feel so much better in myself. The frustration with my total lack of motivation to do anything constructive is a drop in the ocean when compared to the way I felt before my tablets. I still manage to function, it just takes way more effort than it should but at least it doesn’t reduce me to tears like it would have months ago. I haven’t had a migraine in 3 months, comparing that to 4 to 5 a month, migraines that lasted 3 – 4 days each, life is bliss!
So at this juncture I will stick with my tablets. I will mention my issues to my doctor and see if she recommends any changes. Although I can understand the frustration that can lead people to give up their medication (and there are some side effects that are a whole lot worse than what I am dealing with) I understand that it is going to be more beneficial for me to make any changes necessary under my doctors supervision, after all that is why she has the PHD and I the best I have is Google.